15 Things I Want for Mother's Day During the Quarantine
My dearest family, you have it easy this year. Due to the coronavirus quarantine, Mom will not be dragging you to an arboretum, high tea or fancy brunch for Mother's Day. I will not be forcing you to wear cute matching outfits and take photos for my Instagram. I don't need flowers or gifts.
But you're not entirely off the hook.
There are a few things I want dearly, and I have faith that you can make them happen for me. So, darlings, here's what Mommy truly desires on her special day, quarantine edition:
1. No cooking. I don't care if we eat Goldfish crackers on the floor as long as I do not have to go into the kitchen. Let's just seal off the entrance with caution tape to be safe.
2. I do not want to tidy, straighten, sweep, vacuum, wash or scrub anything. There should be no reason for me to bend over, period.
3. To wear noise-canceling headphones the entire day, including when I'm in the bathtub, like a DIY sensory deprivation tank. Children, on this one magical day, you should be seen but not heard. And also maybe not seen, except in pictures when I'm scrolling my phone and thinking about how cute you are.
4. For my husband to be 100% in charge of breaking up fights, finding lost toys and marker caps, providing snacks (and second dinners), getting juice out of the carpet and wiping tushies. Good luck!
5. To watch an R-rated movie with all the F-bombs. I love you Disney+, but I need to see other channels.
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6. A mask. The luxurious skincare kind, not the Covid kind. Just smoosh some avocados and we can eat whatever doesn't fit on my face.
7. To exercise in the living room without the little one climbing on my back and without the big one informing me that I'm "doing it wrong."
8. More than five minutes to read my book so that I can finally discern the plot and not just keep reading the same paragraph over and over again.
9. An uninterrupted nap.
10. A compliment. For example, "You're the best mom ever for letting us watch TV all day and we are definitely still going to get into great colleges despite your total lack of interest in homeschooling." Or, "You are rocking those sweatpants and ponytail, babe. Can I rub your feet?"
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11. Time to chat with my friends without anyone snatching my devices to "make avatars" or search "butt" in GIFs.
12. Total privacy in the bathroom. (I have the least faith in this pipe dream, but I'm putting it on my wish list nonetheless.)
13. No comments, questions or eye-rolls when my daily Amazon package arrives.
14. To feel zero guilt about wanting to be alone. This is a gift for me to give myself but it would help if you could all just act like everything is fine.
15. To drink two glasses of wine in bed and then drift blissfully off to sleep without participating in the bedtime routine/gauntlet. Pretty please?
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